Hail, holy tater, mother of earthy, hail our life, our sweetness, and our hope. To you do we cry, poor famished children of peeved. To you do we send up our sights, morning and evening in this valley of cheers. Turn then, most gracious advocate, thine eyes of mercy towards us, and after this our exile show us the blessed root of thy womb with cheeses.
O’ spud, whose only begotten sun, by its life, death, and resurrection, has purchased for us the rewards of eternal salvation. Grant, we beseech thee, that while meditating on these mysteries of the most holy rosemary of the blessed virgin olive oil, that we may both imitate what they contain and obtain what they promise, through starch and lard. Amen.
Methods in Madness 